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Every January, I see the same cycle start up again: people walking into the clinic full of determination. “This year, I’m going to lose 30 pounds.” “I’m giving up sugar for good.” “I’m hitting the gym five days a week, no excuses.”
I always smile and nod because I know that motivation is real, and they are starting the year with the best intentions. But I also know what’s coming for most people by March or April — shame, frustration, and that quiet little voice saying, “I knew I couldn’t do it.” And soon after that, people stop trying altogether.
So I want you to know something: You didn’t fail, the resolution did.
Most of us were never taught how to set health goals that match our actual life, our stress load, our physical capacity, or even our mental and emotional bandwidth. And that’s not your fault. But it is something we can change, together.
Why So Many Health Resolutions Fall Apart
If we’re being honest, most health-related resolutions are built on guilt. We look in the mirror, think of all the things we should’ve done last year, and make bold declarations from a place of frustration. It’s like trying to punish our bodies into cooperating.
Lasting change doesn’t come from punishment, though. It comes from alignment. Choosing a goal that fits you, right now, in the season of your life you are in.
For example, saying “I’m going to work out every single day” might not make sense if you’re juggling a full-time job, caregiving responsibilities, poor sleep, and chronic fatigue. For someone else, “cutting out all carbs” might actually make their anxiety worse or throw off their blood sugar.
Meet A Few Familiar Faces
I want to introduce you to a few people — fictional, yes, but very real in how closely they resemble the patients I see every day.
Angela is a 48-year-old mom of three who works full-time and also helps care for her elderly father. She made a New Year’s resolution to hit the gym every morning before work. That lasted two weeks before she burned out completely, and now, she feels like a failure.
Luis is a 60-year-old who’s been told by every doctor for years to lose weight and cut carbs. He’s tried every diet under the sun, but nothing sticks. This year, he tried intermittent fasting, but his blood sugar crashed, and he couldn’t focus at work. He ended up feeling worse, not better.
Jasmine is a 33-year-old with a history of depression. She set a goal to stop eating sugar completely, thinking it would help her mood and energy. But the restriction triggered old patterns of bingeing and self-blame, and now she’s stuck in a shame spiral.
For all of them, their resolutions simply didn’t take them into account.
The Real Work: Listening to Your Body and Your Life
This year, instead of aiming for something extreme or trendy, I want to invite you to ask a different question:
What would support my health and well-being (gently, consistently, and realistically) right now?
That might mean:
- Taking a 10-minute walk each morning instead of an hour-long workout.
- Adding more protein to your meals rather than cutting out entire food groups.
- Scheduling one mental health check-in this month, rather than trying to meditate daily when your brain is in survival mode.
These shifts can seem small, but they create momentum, and momentum is what actually builds habits over time.
What Happens When We Choose Alignment Over Ambition
When your health goals genuinely align with the season of life you’re in, everything shifts. Taking care of yourself no longer feels like a chore or a punishment, but it starts to feel like an act of care. When that happens, you’ll notice yourself showing up more often and feeling proud instead of ashamed. Most importantly, you begin to see that health is a relationship, not a race.
So What’s a Better Resolution?
The best resolutions I’ve seen focus on practices, not just the outcomes.
- Not “lose 30 pounds,” but “move my body three times a week in a way that feels good.”
- Not “cut out sugar,” but “learn how food affects my mood and energy.”
- Not “be perfect,” but “show up more kindly to my health and myself.”
That’s how people stick with it. Making the right choice that fits into the life you actually live.
One Last Thing…
If you’ve set a goal this year and already feel like it’s slipping through your fingers, please don’t beat yourself up. Pause. Breathe. Ask if the goal is truly aligned with what your body and life need right now. And if it’s not? Don’t take that as failure, take it as feedback.
You can choose again. And if you want to talk it out or need support figuring out what’s realistic for your health in this season, come see me. We’ll figure it out together.
I’m Dr. Coupet, The People’s Doctor. Thanks for listening.
